Mary Hand
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Mary died waiting for a double lung transplant. This piece is written by her best friend Clo. How do you pay tribute to a friendship, which spun the best part of 20 years? How do you convey a lifetime of memories and a forever of gratitude? I don’t know. I’m lost for words. (And I wish Mary hadn’t distracted me so much in English class!) I will however, do my best, and I’ll start by telling you about her. She came into my life I think maybe in the swimming pool. And that was the start of it. The beginning of a beautiful, honest friendship, that I feel honoured and proud to have been half of. Mary was the epitome of beauty, joy and radiance. She lived a life rich in everything and touched every heart that came her way. You could not help but love this energising creature with a smile and a laugh that were utterly infectious. She never complained and took her illness in her stride. Always brave. Patient always. She was never ‘sick’, she just had CF. It was never an issue, never a problem, just a way of life. Mary packed so much into her life, and she gave so much joy to mine. She liked holidays, spa trips, shopping, loved to gossip with the girls. Loved shoes, loved handbags, loved make up, loved fashion. Most of all, she loved life. As we grew up and got older and I started to read up and understand CF. I think I used to worry more about the future then Mary ever did. She had a wonderful attitude and would always say to me, ‘what will be will be, Clo’. A while later when she told me she was up for transplant assessment. In 2005, Mary fronted the Irish Organ Donor Awareness Campaign, ‘My Life, Your Choice’. Although in desperate need of double lungs, Mary did his for transplant patients nationwide, not for herself. She simply wanted to raise awareness as the number of donors was depleting. On so many times she said, ‘if one person gets a call after this, it will all have been worth my while.’ This was Mary down to a T, always thinking of others. Mary was the type of person who when I was about to finish the book, PS I LOVE YOU, sent me a flower that day because she knew by time I got to the last page I’d be a blubbering mess. The card simply says ‘because I know you’ll be sad xxxx’. It was always four kisses. I’d give her three back. We had plans to go to far away places and do so many things. Of course we had unrealistic dreams too, but that’s what dreams are for. We planned our weddings, our dresses, bridesmaids, flowers, the works. The idea of Mary never been in any of that never ever came into play, not for a second. I was sure she’d get transplanted and live lifes dream. Her own positivity brushed off on all of us. To loose a friend so young is obviously something you never imagine. It’s unfair, unjust, heartbreaking and wrong. To loose Mary is like having the life sucked out of life, its wrong beyond belief; it’s something I can’t describe. Something I know has not yet hit me. It’s a huge void, a massive emptiness. It’s lonely. Thank you Mary. For the good times. For your smile. For your flowers. Thanks for your stories, for your gossip. Thanks for teaching me what life is about and that it’s a gift. Thank you for your courage and bravery. Thank you for all the times you made me smile and the times you made me laugh so much we cried. Thanks for being my friend through thick and thin, for always having open arms. Thanks for the hugs. Thanks for the kisses. For making life worthwhile, Thank you. Sleep tight and breathe easy. I love you to the moon, beyond and back. xxx |
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